FOR MAGS DATED MAY 11, 2009
Before I begin the report – I apologize in advance for making you look at a pic of Kim KardASSian…in a bikini no less.
Also, no song lyrics in this report because I forgot…again…I’ll try to do better next week…
I was LMAO at the caption to the main picture with the story on Brad and Angie. It was one of the pix from India when Brad & Angie took Mad and Z walking and Angie tried to buy Z some ice cream and Brad tasted it first, then threw it away.
Anyway...Mickey's in the picture with them and he's wearing a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up so you can see his biceps and his tats. The caption says, "He's a scary foe!" All I could think was..."Wonder how long they had to search before they found a picture where Mickey's NOT wearing a pink shirt?"
BRAD & ANGELINA: THE FIGHT OF THEIR LIVES
Faced with reports that their bodyguard is planning to reveal their secrets, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie battle back!
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been through a lot together, from a love affair that began when Brad was still married to their travels around the globe with their six kids. Along the way, one man was by their side, trusted bodyguard Mickey Brett, who protected Brad and Angelina and their children for years. (Sidebar: I was going to hold off on my comments to see how long it took L&S to tell their first lie and doggonit if they didn't get in a whole 45 words before they started FUDGING on the truth. Mickey guarded them "for years"? More like, "Mickey guarded them for years when the family traveled abroad." But...that doesn't sound as promising as a bodyguard who was there 24/7365 spilling all their secrets.)
Now, according to reports, Brett's considering committing the ultimate betrayal. (Sidebar: In other words, "We don't consider our lies to be "a betrayal" because they never signed our paychecks.") On April 26, New York Daily News, reported receiving a proposal for a tell-all book and TV show based on Brett's work as a bodyguard to the stars. "the main focus of the pitches," the newspaper said, "was Brangelina." (Sidebar: Of course the focus was Angie and Brad. Nobody cares about Tiny Tom's crazy ass anymore. People just accepted that he's crazy and always will be and moved on!)
Brett, who was fired in 2008, clearly would have lots to write about. (Sidebar: Not as much as the tabs think!) A report earlier this year said he planned to include details of how Brad, 45, and Angie, 33, first hooked up on the set of M&MS in 2004, just 3 three into filming and long before Brad and Jen divorced. (Sidebar: Yeah..."a report" by their sister publication, OuttaTouch...who stole their story from a UK tabloid, The Sun, IIRC. The lineage of this lie reads like a who's who of professional liars.)
As head of security for the duo, he would also have been a witness to their many knockdown fights and could write about what they're like as parents. (Sidebar: Why is it I'm still having trouble wrapping my brain around Brad and Angie having "knockdown fights" in front of the hired help? More specifically, I can't see BRAD fighting in front of "the help". Angie probably doesn't give a rat's ass...but BRAD would.)
BRAD AND ANGELINA'S PAIN
Angelina - who first met Brett in 2000 and was especially close to him - and Brad are both hurt and furious about the potential tell-all. "It's hard to think of a bigger betrayal in Angelina's life than Brett (Sidebar: Uh, does the name "Jon Voight" ring any bells for Lies & Shit?) going out and attempting to profit from his time with Angelina and the rest of the family," says an insider close to the actress. (Sidebar: After Shitzu and The Sperm Donor sold her down the river, I highly doubt Angie was that shocked that Mickey would attempt to do the same.)
But Brad and Angie aren't planning to let him get the chance. "They knew this was coming and have been planning to defend against it for months," the insider says. "They're certain they're going to come out on top." (Sidebar: Let's put it this way - if Brad and Angie, as superior as the HW A-list gets these days, lose a fight to keep their bodyguard from blabbing, then a streak of fear HW has never seen the likes of before will reverberate through the entertainment industry. Just think how actors in the closet - Tiny Tom, Travolta, Will Smith, etc. - are going to panic. Famous people will have to fire all their flunkies and go back to fending off fans, opening doors and wiping their asses themselves. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they even started answering their own phones and reading their own e-mail.)
BRANGELINA STRIKE BACK
Indeed, a lawyer for the couple, Marty Singer, told the Daily News that Brett is a pathological liar, (Sidebar: Anybody besides me seeing the irony of a tabloid reporting on someone being a pathological liar? Tabs could print the truth, but they choose not to, ergo, they're pathological liars for profit.) and he's long been a controversial figure. While with the Jolie-Pitts in India in 2006, Brett was arrested for choking a photographer (Sidebar: Not true. The photographer yelped about it to the press, but never filed charges.) and allegedly hurled racial slurs at parents trying to pick up their kids. (Sidebar: Also not true. That was ultimately proven false and was actually the ratzi. If they were trying to make a point that Mickey's violent they'd have done better to cite the incidents in Namibia or the time he was questioned about a murder.)
Singer says Brett is bound by a confidentiality agreement that prohibits his writing a tell-all, and Brett may have already backed down. "I'm not writing a tell-all book," he tells Life & Style, "It's not true." (Sidebar: If he's a pathological liar, does it really matter that he denies it?) Whatever the case, Brad and Angie will continue to fight to protect themselves. "Mickey has seen Angie at her best and her worst," the insider says. "If he did do a tell-all, she'd have the most to lose." (Sidebar: Ya think? Tales of Brad wiping his ass with his bare hands aside, Mickey worked for Angie for 7 years. He only worked for Brad on 3 occasions, yes, only 3 occasions - Namibia, India and Prague...and somehow I doubt Brad and Angie were openly discussion Brad's bathroom habits while their bodyguard was present.)
SIDEBAR: WHAT COULD BE IN THE TELL-ALL BOOK
1. Did Brad cheat on Jen? (pic from M&MS tango scene)
Brett reportedly walked in on an intimate moment between Brad and Angie in 2004, when Brad was still married to Jen. (Sidebar of my own: If he did then he must have gotten Mr. Scott to teleport him to Cali. I believe we've already established that Mickey hasn't been granted a visa to enter the US since the late 90s/early 2000s. Or maybe Mickey's just so darned good at his job that he guarded Angie from 5500 miles away.)
2. Angie's kinky side (pic of Angie in the dominatrix outfit in M&MS)
One report says Brett could expose how Angie won Brad over by dressing in latex and using sex toys. (Sidebar of my own: First of all, Brad would be the one wearing latex, or do I need to explain "safe sex" to the eds at Lies & Shit? Secondly, who was Angie using these sex toys on - herself or Brad? And...did Mickey get video that will be included in the book, on DVD or streamed over the internet? If so, I'm going straight to Amazon.com to reserve my copy of the non-existing book right now.)
3. Their biggest fights (pic of Brad & Angie at the Deauville FF in 2007. Brad has his hand on Angie's arm in what I guess L&S thought was an aggressive manner. It's one of the pix where he was helping her into their limo...)
"Mickey, more than anyone, has seen Brad and Angie go at it," says an insider. (Sidebar: Yeah right. Angie and Brad were smart enough to have Mickey sign a confidentiality agreement, but dumb enough to air all their business in front of him - and the nannies, housekeeper, dog trainer, tutors, gardeners, etc.)
4. What they're like as parents (pic of Brad & Shiloh on the CCOBB when they were BOTH eyeballing that other little girl's cookie)
Brett would have the inside story on how Brad and Angie really raise their kids. (Sidebar: You mean the hand-me-downs, thumb sucking, blankies and bedheads aren't all the clues you need? Why not? It's enough for the trolls.)
BRAD TAKES THE KIDS
Joined by his parents, Brad Pitt holds his children close as he faces an uncertain future with Angelina Jolie
Wearing a blue plastic poncho and lots of layers, Brad Pitt helped his oldest sons, Maddox and Pax, onto the famed Maid of the Mist tour boat during a family outing to Niagara Falls on April 25. But while Brad was clearly trying to make it a fun day for the boys - and for his visiting parents, Bill and Jane - there was no missing the sadness etched into his face. At a breaking point in his relationship with Angelina Jolie, "Brad is finding this time so much tougher than his divorce [from Jennifer Aniston]," says a confidante. (Sidebar: Maybe that's because there's are emotions other than disgust and relief involved here.) "With Jen, it was just the two of them, but with Angie, there are six kids involved." (Sidebar: "...which we here at In Touch don't give a rat's ass about.")
As In Touch previously reported, Brad, 45, left the rented Long Island home he shares with Angelina and their children on April 9 when the fighting between them became too much for him to take. And though he did return on April 18, it was purely for the children's sake. "He knows that he and Angie are over," the confidante shares. "They try to be civil, but they rarely speak these days without it erupting into a screaming match." Spending most of his time with - (Sidebar: mentally insert usual litany of kids names and ages here.) - and as little time as possible with Angelina - (Sidebar: Typically that time is spent with a few of his body parts joined to her body parts.) Brad is trying to figure out what would happen if he had to share custody of the children. (Sidebar: Usually the way that works is that...Angie would have the kids SOME OF THE TIME...and then BRAD would have the kids...SOME OF THE TIME. That's why it's called "sharing custody"!)
But that may be easier said than done. According to the confidante, Angelina has threatened that she won't give up the kids without a fight: "He's worried the kids are picking up on that." (Sidebar: What parent worth his/her salt (pun not intended) gives up their kids without a fight? If these tabs wrote in more than clichés, then maybe they wouldn't sound so fucking up their own asses!)
HIS PARENTS ARE CONCERNED (Sidebar: "...by how often we drag their names into our bullshit stories...")
Brad's parents, Jane and Bill, are aware of the severe rift between their son and his partner - but even though there is no love lost between them and Angelina, they are urging him to work things out with Angie so that he can still play a role in his children’s lives. (Sidebar: They're also urging Brad to work things out so that OuttaTouch can continue to lie and defame them. Such a shame they don't sue these fucktards.) "Jane has been telling Brad, 'Those kids are what's important, not you or Angie,'" the confidante says. But though Brad "knows she's right," adds the source, he also understands that he can't stay in such an unhappy relationship - and it's upsetting him deeply. (Sidebar: Why not? He stayed married to X for at least 2 years after their marriage was dead? Another 17 years - until the twins are 18 - with Angie should be child's play. The really hard part is going to be stopping himself from sleeping with Angie and accidentally having more babies with her or accidentally signing his name to more adoption papers during those 17 years. Because THAT would definitely delay his exit from the relationship OuttaTouch says he doesn't want...yet somehow I think there'll be more babies and more adoptions...) "The idea that he may not be around to see every minute of his kids growing up is tearing Brad apart." (Sidebar: Betcha it's not tearing him up nearly as much as that chili-cheese dog with kraut, onions and Kosher pickles that he had for lunch. Middle-aged men...they never learn...still think they can eat like they ate at 22. Nexium, Brad. Get some. It's your friend.)
But that idea may soon be a reality. On a rare shopping trip with Angelina, 33, and the kids on April 18, Brad, "was in a foul mood," reveals one shopper who saw the family at a Long Island Stop & Shop. Brad appeared to be frustrated with a clerk who couldn't find a type of organic tea he wanted: "Brad seemed like he was at his wit's end, and didn't say one word to Angelina." (Sidebar: Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm gonna let Peeps handle this one for me...
Katherine Pastore, a manager at the local Stop & Shop, agrees. She spotted the celeb pair in the store on April 18 with daughters Zahara, 4 and Shiloh, 2 ½. "They looked out of place because they were so beautiful," says Pastore. "They looked like they were airbrushed when they were walking. I went up to Brad and asked if he needed help and he said, 'No thanks.' I was looking at him but I don't really remember it – it was like a dream."
Pastore says the stars acted like regular shoppers, walking the aisles – each pushing a daughter in a shopping cart – and buying items such as pre-sliced watermelon, nuts, tuna fish and toys.
"They were very attentive with their kids. Brad was rubbing Zahara's back and Angelina was comforting Shiloh when she got a little upset. It was sweet," adds Pastore.
I think perhaps OuttaTouch assumes - and you know what they say about "assuming" - that its readers only read it and never read Peeps...)
THE LAW IS ON HER SIDE
And during the Niagara Falls trip, Angelina was conspicuously absent. (Sidebar: Yah, cuz she was WORKING!) While the younger children were being watched by nannies, and Angelina - who was shooting in Albany, N.Y. - could have easily made the trip to the falls to join them for the day, (Sidebar: So you admit you knew she was working but still lied in order to make her look bad.) she "bailed out," a family friend says. (Sidebar: I'm sure that would have gone over well with the studio and the producers - "I know this shoot was planned meticulously for months - down to the last millisecond, but...I need the day off to go to Niagara Falls with my husband, in-laws and two of my kids because OuttaTouch thinks it's hinky that I'm working while they're wearing fug blue ponchos that make them look like water 'fraidy cats and riding around on a boat to go look at water fall off a big ass cliff into a river...and there's not even a cool dam making hydro-electric power! It's just dumb water running into more dumb water like it's been doing for a few hundred million years!")
Another friend of Brad's says that he is "seriously considering leaving Angelina," (Sidebar: "...for the weekend to go to L.A. on business and to a Chris Cornell concert on Sunday night...but...he'll be back in a day or two...unless he stops off in Brazil to visit DJ for a few days...") knowing his family would be there to help him with parenting responsibilities. But a friend of Angelina's says, "She's not about to just hand him the six kids. She will fight for full custody, and she'll fight to the end." (Sidebar: I wish OuttaTouch would stop acting like these two are completely insensitive to their children's needs. Angie knows better than most that a child needs the steady influence and guidance of a good father. I think she and Brad would be able to share custody without a big melodrama...which is EXACTLY what the tabs are afraid of because that puts them scrambling for new cover material.)
And Angelina would have every legal right to do just that - but divorce lawyer Vikki Ziegler, (Sidebar: "...who is an ambulance chaser, bad at her job and clearly needs the business or else she wouldn't be speaking to us on the record under her real name...") who does not represent Brad or Angelina, (Sidebar: "...and never will...") warns that it will be the children who suffer most, (Sidebar: "...not that she cares as long as she gets P-A-I-D before all her client's money is gone...") and whether or not Brad's name is on the adoption papers, "they call him Daddy. The whole family believes he is the father." (Sidebar: Now you know why Assley was here last week going on and on about Brad's not having legally adopted Mad, Pax and Z. A troll's work is never done.)
And from a personal perspective, says Dr. Gilda Carle, (Sidebar: Yes, it's that talky bitch...AGAIN...) it's in the children's best interest (Sidebar: "...not that we care. We just want you to buy this issue and save us from a potential bankruptcy...") to have both Brad and Angelina in their lives. "They've grown to love Brad, grown to trust him," explains Dr. Gilda Carle, author of the e-book ____________ (Sidebar: Same shitastic drivel as last week. I refuse to give her anymore promotional space on my dime.) , who does NOT treat the couple. "You always seen them doing activities with him. (Sidebar: That's cause he's the manny, not the daddy! Silly shrinkette!) The kids are no doubt going to be disoriented if they split." (Sidebar: "...not that I care. The more fucked up they are, the more checks I get from OuttaTouch for my 'expert' opinion.") And if one parent gets full custody, "they will only understand that Daddy isn't here or Mommy isn't here." (Sidebar: "...not that I give a shit about their rug rats. All I know is the more miserable those kids are the more money I make in consult fees. Cha-ching! Baby's buying a new pair of Louboutins!)
PHOTOS - pic B/M/P/J/B on Maid of the Mist
Caption: TRYING TO HAVE FUN - A friend says that Brad's mom noticed how unhappy he seemed during their trip to Niagara Falls with Pax and Maddox (Sidebar: What they don't say is that Jane noticed that no matter how sad he look...he was still happier now than he was with the Rhinoplastied One.)
SIDEBAR: ANGELINA IS THROWING HERSELF INTO WORK
Despite emotional and physical exhaustion, Angelina has been doing grueling stunts on the New York set of Salt, and she isn't planning to rest any time soon - she just signed on to play Dr. Kay Scarpetta in the movie versions of Patricia Cornwell's books. (Sidebar of my own: OuttaTouch neglects to tell its readers that this is a project with no script, no writer, no directors and no financing. In other words - they ain't making it next week!) "It's typical Angie, burying herself in her work so she doesn't have to think about her problems," says an insider. "Her brother is telling her to take a vacation and get lots of sleep, but she won't listen." (Sidebar: Now how is she going to "take a vacation and get lots of sleep" if she's got sole custody of 6 kids? OuttaTouch forgot they just broke her and Brad up and gave Angie custody. Even if she has nannies to help, she's still going to have 6 kids to watch...unless she ships them off to the daddy OuttaTouch says she doesn't want them to see anymore. Lame, lame, lame...)
SIDEBAR: HIS FAMILY IS THERE FOR HIM - AS ALWAYS
Throughout his relationship with Angelina, Brad's parents have always been available for moral - and physical - support with the kids. "Even though they have nannies, Brad would much rather have his children looked after by family than people that they hire," and insider explains. "He loves having them around." (Sidebar: Yeah, Brad loves having his parents around so darned much that during the X years he rarely made it back to Missouri to see them and made them schlep all the way out to Cali because X couldn't be bothered to visit Podunk, Missouri. Feel the love.)
1. THEY HAD FUN IN NEW ORLEANS (pic of Jane with Shiloh & Maddox in horse-drawn carriage) - Back in 2007, Jane and Bill helped their children and grandkids settle into their new home in Louisiana. (Sidebar: I am sooooo ashamed of OuttaTouch. Who edits this piece of shitoid these days? Here they have a perfect opportunity to remind America that Jane & Bill were in NO in February 2007 helping watch the kids because Angie and Brad were having one of their "knockdown fights" and Angie ran off to Chad - on a moment’s notice - to visit Darfur refugees, leaving Brad with 1 toddler, a 5 year old and an infant...while simultaneously filming CCOBB. Instead all we get is some lame bit about how much fun the elder Pitts had. OuttaTouch could have gone on at length about Angie abandoning her duties as a mother and how Jane reminded Brad that X would never do such a thing...if only X had kids...and that Jane told Brad he should never have left X, blah, blah, blah. This sidebar gets a big old "FAIL!" from me. Opportunities wasted...)
2. HELPING WITH THE KIDS (pic of Brad/Z/Jane at museum in France last summer) - Soon after the twins were born, the couple flew to the Jolie-Pitt home in France to watch their grandchildren. (Sidebar of my own: Yet another wasted opportunity. OuttaTouch could have told America that when the down-home Missouri couple arrived in France they reminded Brad that X would never have had their baby on foreign soil, IT would have been born in America, my country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty...a God-fearing land where salt of the earth peeps like the Pitts eat good old fashioned American food like mountain oysters and chit'lings and don't cotton to eating slimy critters that crawl on the ground and give the dish a fancy names like "escargot." A snail's a snail in Missouri and damned proud of it! Instead we get, "The Pitts flew to France to help watch their grandchildren." This rag is run by a bunch of fucking amateurs! And they wonder why their sales are down...)
3. SPENDING TIME IN NEW YORK (pic of Jane & Bill in Dunkin Donuts parking lot) - Brad's folks leant moral support to their son when he took the kids to Niagara Falls during the weekend of April 25. (Sidebar of my own: Here's some more candy-assed writing. OuttaTouch had the perfect opportunity to remind American that Angie was shirking her motherly AND wifely responsibilities by working at a j-o-b and not being at her husband's side taking care of his children and pampering the visiting in-laws who can't stand her ass...just like every housewife in America with a meddling mother-in-law. OuttaTouch could have given the MVM even more reason to side with X...cuz X would be there kissing the MIL's ass trying to make the woman like her. And all OuttaTouch gives me is some line about the Pitts giving moral support to Brad? I have always said - if you're going to lie, lie big. Don't do these silly little lies that are easily debunked. Make people THINK about it before they call "bullshit" on you! Pussies.)
SIDEBAR: THE PRESSURE IS GETTING TO HIM
(PHOTOS - Side-by-side pix of Brad - With Z & Shiloh shopping in DC & In front of the Standard Hotel the afternoon he shot the Softel commercial)
As recently as March, Brad was still smiling in public, but lately, he's been looking exhausted, thinner - and very sad. "Brad hasn't seemed like himself lately," says a friend of the actor. "He's been acting like he has a lot on his mind." And the confidante shares, "Brad's love for the kids is never going to change, but he has been acting depressed about everything else in his life." (Sidebar: Soooooo...Brad's "acting like he has a lot on his mind," and from this OuttaTouch deduces that he and Angie are having relationship problems? Let me see if I can give some example of some other things Brad could be worrying about -
1. Mickey's faux book.
2. Andrew Morton's supposed book.
3. 6 kids under the age of 8 who could turn out to be serial killers if he fucks up their upbringing...just the thought sends a cold shiver up my spine.
4. His production company.
5. We ARE in a recession, ya know.
6. Shitty tabloids like this one getting all up in his bizness
7. His upcoming movie that's scheduled to shoot not too long after Angie wraps her film and the logistics of moving the entire family across the country - AGAIN.
8. That his six pack is turning into a keg due to all the liquor DJ/Bet/Tres Jolie/Assley/Shitzy said he drinks.
10. The faux triangle will never end.
I could go on, but I think the OuttaTouch and other tab trolls get the point...)
SIDEBAR: IT'S AFFECTING THE KIDS, TOO!
(pic of Maddox & Pax in the airport parking lot after their visit to Niagara Falls when they were obviously having a brotherly quarrel...but they conveniently left out the pic from 2 seconds later when Mad had his arm around Pax's shoulder.)
The tension between Brad and Angelina has spread to their kids - especially the two oldest boys, says a friend. "Maddox and Pax can sense something is wrong with their parents, and they're acting up," the friend shares. "One minute they're fighting each other, and the next they're ganging up on Shiloh and Zahara. It's turning into chaos." (Sidebar of my own: Oh please. Princess Zahara could melt both Mad and Pax into a puddle of goo with just ONE of her patented Kiss My ASs You Pathetic Ratzi Bitches stares. Besides, if Pax wants to keep his dancing partner he knows he'd better recognize...)
SIDEBAR: WILL SHE GET PREGNANT TO KEEP BRAD?
PHOTO - Pic of Angie in the black maxidress from last week
CAPTION - IS THAT A BUMP? Angelina covered up on the set of Salt on April 23. (Sidebar of my own: Yes, they're still calling that little left-over fat in Angie's lower belly a "baby bump". If it were to disappear suddenly all the tabs would be yelling she got it lipoed away out of vanity.)
PHOTOS - Pic of Angie in the green dress at the Cannes KFP premiere next to cut-out pix of Knox & Vivienne from the airport in Tokyo
CAPTION - SHE DID IT BEFORE. "They were on the verge of splitting right before Angelina got pregnant with Vivienne and Knox," the friend explains. "It worked then and it will work now." (Sidebar of my own: Let me correct this caption - "We know we said they were on the verge of splitting before Angie announced her last pregnancy...but we were just funnin' with youse guys! Ha. Ha. Ha. You know how we are...always with the jokes. Ha. Ha. Ha.")
Angelina is so desperate to hold on to Brad that friends say she's ready to turn to a tried-and-true method: conceiving his child. (Sidebar of my own: Since Brad is an unwilling participant in this pregnancy, can we assume he'll be filing rape charges against Angie? Or did she borrow X's turkey baster?) "The second she tells him she's pregnant, he unpacks his bags," says an insider, and another likens it to couples counseling. "They don't fight, he becomes Mr. Happy Dad, and even she has publicly claimed the sex is at its best when she's expecting," says the friend, who predicts Angie will give birth in 2010. (Sidebar of my own: This is OuttaTouch's way of saying, "Our rivals at Star are claiming that Angie is 2 1/2 months preggers. In the unlikely event that they are correct we are adding this sidebar to our story.") "Even though Brad thinks six is enough for now, she is the one who controls the family planning," adds the friend. "She knows how to seduce him, and they're a very fertile couple." (Sidebar of my own: Yes, Angie controls the family planning...onacounta she's the one with the UTERUS! HELLO! True story - one of the profs at work told me a few months back that she asked her husband if he wanted another child. They're son is 12 or 13 and she figured she's hitting her mid-40s they better hurry up if they want more kids. Her husband, also a Ph.D., says to her, "I don't care. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO DO ALL THE WORK." Some men know the lay of the land. Case closed. Next.) But expanding the family is only a temporary fix. "A baby is not insurance," Dr. Judy Kuriansky, the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy relationship (who does not treat the couple), tells In Touch. "Brad could end up resentful. He may stick around physically, but not emotionally." (Sidebar: X knows all about that...and they didn't even have any kids to consider.) The insider points out that it would also be unfair to her other kids: "Adding another baby is on a par with Octomom levels of insanity and selfishness." (Sidebar: Ooooh...check out OuttaTouch...low-blowing with the OctocrazazyMom analogy. Bet it took the brain trust that runs this rag a whole day to come up with that put-down. Remind me not to get into a game of the dozens with them. Wouldn't want them to insult me by calling me "that colored girl who makes fun of our magazine.")