US LIES WEAKLY - APRIL 18, 2005

Okay...here's the deal...the thing I was going to post? I'm missing a page. Now I have to try to find it or post it without the last page - and I hate not reading the end of something, so I'll wait until I find it.  IF I can find it. 

In lieu of making fun of Ticky some more...Here's an US Lies Weakly article from April 18, 2005, that covers their trip to Palm Springs to for W Domestic Bliss photo shoot. Brad and his missing sensitivity chip had a great time with Angie and Maddox. I don't think I've posted this one before and you know this stuff drives the hens crazier and crazier. This will give the Fat Fvckers something to convene about tomorrow. Maybe they can get some conspiracy theories out about Brad's expanding waistline out of a 10 year-old tabloid article. If anyone can - they can. Plus it's always comical to see how much stuff US Lies Weakly got wrong...

10 YEARS LATER - REVISITING DIANI BEACH, KENYA 

This is just a quick post to rub salt in the Fat Fuckers' and hens' wounds. It's been 10 years since Brad and Angie were seen together at Diani Beach, Kenya and sent hens everywhere reaching for their smelling salts, to the nearest beach to scream at the ocean and caused them to grab their pooch and tangle up their fur with snot balls and bitter tears of outrage. Ahhhh...those were the days...

Because I'm evil and because it's funny...I threw in the story on Ticky's reaction to the news that Brad was making Angie's toes curl on foreign soil. That bitch had known they were together for over 6 weeks, so US carrying on like she was so tattered and torn about her dumping is beyond hilarious. She said herself - she knew the marriage was over by the time she returned from Italy in June 2004, so she had nearly a year to get over being dumped. Her friends were talking to US with her blessing and saying what she wanted them to say...and then she moved into a house in Malibu a few miles from Brad's new house...just to be near Courteney ya know...stalker much...

US LIES WEAKLY - MAY 9, 2005

Hold me, Norman! I've Been Dumped!

HOLD ME, NORMAN! I'VE BEEN DUMPED!

Yep, that's right folks...it's the 10 year anniversary of the day Brad kicked La Garrapata Engorda to el curbo. To commemorate the festive occasion I've decided to turn back the hands of time. It is now January 12, 2005 and the shockwaves felt round the gossip world are still reverberating. If you listen closely you can still hear "CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" every time you pass by a magazine rack at a grocery store checkout stand.

To honor the happy occasion - or sad occasion if you're a hen with a skinny jeans allergy - I give you...the 31 pages of of the January 24, 2005 US Weekly, which oh so-dolefully decrees, 'WHY BRAD SAID GOODBYE!" The wind cries Mary for Hendrix fans and Maria for easy listening fans. Guess who's easy listening fan? Hint: It ain't Brad Pitt.