Monday, June 29, 2009
This is Part 2 of the tabloid report for June magazines. It covers 2 issues of Lies & Shite and 1 issue of notOK! Part 3 will cover OuttaTouch. I'm going to call it "A Month of Fuckery"...and I'm being polite.
LIES & SHIT - JUNE 1, 2009
All of these tabs play fast & cute with the tag line they put on the covers about the stories inside, but one is just stupid - "ANGIE TAKES THE KIDS." A few issues back OuttaTocuh used the same tag line for Brad. The insinuation was that he took the kids away from Angie because they broke up. Of course once you get to the actual article you see that's now what the story is about. So the question is - Takes them where? Well, in the OUttaTouch Brad "took" Mad and Pax to Niagra Falls. In this issue of Lies & Shit Angie "takes the kids"...because it's Brad's turn to work and Angie's turn to stay home with the kids. Lame, right? Well, both of these rags are still in business so that means there's a ton of really stupid people out there who can't add 1 plus 1 and get two.
LIES & SHIT - JUNE 8, 2009
This issue was a story about Angie "putting her life on the line" doing stunts. It featured a photo of Angie hanging off the side of a building in NYC and talked about the little nick she got on the forehead like she's lost a leg in a war and couldn't walk anymore. I didn't even bother taking notes on this garbage.
LIES & SHIT - JUNE 15, 2009
BRAD TALKS ABOUT BABY #7
Brad Pitt's so excited about adding to his family that he let some secrets slip!
Brad Pitt was surrounded by fans and fellow stars after the Cannes Film Festival premiere of his movie Inglourious Basterds. But his focus at the May 20 after party was on people who weren't there: his six young children. "I have the most beautiful family," Brad told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper. "What else can a guy wants?" (Sidebar: L&S starts out with their 1% of the truth for this article...it'll be all downhill from here...)
A seventh child apparently! Noting that he and Angelina Jolie are "lucky...to have children from around the world," Brad blurted, "They're all fantastic, and we'd love another. Who knows, maybe we'll have one in London."
WHERE THEY'D ADOPT
Brad, 45, didn't specify whether he and Angie, 34, would adopt again or try for another biological child, but he left a lot of hints, says the Daily Mirror's showbiz reporter, Sarah Tetteh, who spoke to Brad at the bash. "I got the feeling they'll definitely consider adopting again," Tetteh tells Life & Style. "He seemed open to more children from around the world." (Sidebar: I love it when one tabloid cites another. I guess they feel safe giving the name of their source because they're not competition in the US market. Doubt they'd be so gracious as to quote Peeps issue calling them all a bunch of lying frauds...)
While Brad mentioned London, where the Daily Mirror is based, he and Angie seem more likely to adopt from Africa, Zahara's homeland. (Sidebar: WTF? How did L&S get Brad and Angie adopting a British baby out "Who knows, maybe we'll HAVE ONE in London? "Have one" as in "give birth to" not "Have one brought to our hotel.") "Brad sounded so elated when talking about Zahara," notes Tetteh. "He had his hand to his heart, and he was gushing about her with so much passion. She's certainly the apple of his eye." (Sidebar: Two comments - Not that I doubt Brad gushing about his little Z, but why'd she leave that "apply of his eye" part out of her Daily Mirror story? Cuz...I'd have remembered that. I think this is where the "creative writing" kicks in. Secondly, I'm sure the reason the Daily Mirror left the gushing part out of their story was because it was about Z and not Shiloh. Well all know stories about the brown and yellow babies don't move product off the shelves...)
And back in 2006, Angelina said she and Brad wondered how to "balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z, so there's another Asian person in the house for Madd." Months later, the couple adopted Pax from Vietnam, leaving Africa a likely next stop. (Sidebar: According to tabloid logic, which, I know is dodgy at best. What are they going to do if Brad and Angie decided to adopt a white African kid? There are white people in Africa. I hate to be the one to break that to the tabs, but...just saying...)
EAGER FOR MORE KIDS
That's where they're most interested in adopting from next, confirms an insider, who notes there are other possibilities as well, including war-torn Chechnya or Haiti. And past reports have claimed the couple were close to adopting from India, the Philippines or Armenia, among other places. "Brad's proud to be the father of such an ethnically diverse family," says the insider. (Sidebar: I love how L&S doesn't say where these "reports" of adopting from India, the Phillippines, Chechnya, Haiti and Armenia originated. One of the basic principles of journalism - Never give the competition free advertising in your mag.)
One thing's certain: Angelina (who the Daily Mirror's Tetteh says seemed tired and under the weather at the party) (Sidebar: Those tabloid hack just can't help themselves. Wonder if they lie about everything in their own lives? It also makes me question how one finds so many people lacking in scruples? Is that something you specify in the employment ads? "Must have no conscience and be willing and able to lie through your teeth and show no remorse.") and Brad have enough love to go around. "Brad's eyes lit up at the mention of any of his kids," Tetteh told Life & Style. "It's clear he's an amazing father." (Sidebar: It's clear he's an amazing father becuase his eyes light up when you mention his kids? More baffling tabloid logic. You've never witnessed it...but he looks really happy when he talks about, so he must be amazing at it! Yeah...that makes sense. Not.)
PHOTO - Pic of Brad and Angie looking lovey-dovey at Cannes. (L&S and OuttaTouch have a bad habit of flipping photos 180 degrees. In almost all Cannes photos Brad is on the right and Angie is on the left. But in the photo L&S uses...Brad is on the left and Angie is on the right. It's very annoying and bad journalism too boot.)
CAPTION: "I'm the happiest man ever," Brad said, gushing about his kids. Last October, Angelina also told Today's Matt Lauer that the couple were thinking of adopting again. (Sidebar: Correction - Angie said they'd love to adopt again, not that they were thinking about it. L&S prolly doesn't see the difference between the two things...)
SIDEBAR - THEY ADD TO THEIR FAMILY ALMOST EVERY YEAR (aka An Excuse To print pix of Shiloh and the twins.)
Angelina was still married to Billy Bob Thornton when she adopted Maddox from Cambodia in 2002. Since getting together in 2004, (Sidebar: That's NOT a typo on my part.) Angie and Brad have either adopted or had at least one biological child every year (average time between kids: a little more than 11 months.) No wonder they're ready for their next baby! (Sidebar: Can't you hear the hen heads popping away? It's bad enough that Brad went running after Angie and knocked her up as soon as she said, "I'd like to try."...but now L&S has the two of them being a couple since 2004. Almost makes me shed a tear for poor, old fug X and her empty uterus. BBBBWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I kid, I kid...)
1. 10 MONTHS, 21 DAYS (pic of Z rocking her kiddie shades in D.C.)
With Brad by her side, Angie journeyed to Ethiopia to adopt Zahara on July 6, 2005. The next year, Brad legally adopted Z and Maddox. (Sidebar of my own: This is a landmark occasion. L&S admits that Brad has legally adopted Mad and Z. Remember this occasion because in a few week's you can throw it back in L&S's face when they go BACK to claiming Brad hasn't adopted Z and Mad...)
2. 9 MONTHS, 16 DAYS (pic of Shiloh holding a stuffed animal in DC)
On May 27, 2006, Angelia gave birth to Shiloh, her first biological child in the African country of Namibia. (Sidebar of my own: I should have counted how many pix of Shiloh they managed to put on these 2 pages...)
3. 15 MONTHS, 27 DAYS (pic of Pax running wild in NO at the MIR Mike Holmes house dedication)
The couple adopted son Pax, then already 3 years old, from an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, on March 15, 2007. (Sidebar of my own: Hmmmm...I wonder if Pax gets to celebrate 2 birthdays every year...)
4. 11 MONTHS...AND COUNTING (pic of Knox & Viv at the Tokyo airport)
Angie delivered twins Knox and Vivienne in Nice, France, on July 12, 2008 - nearly a year ago. It's just about time for another! (Sidebar of my own: So they say NOW. As soon as the next child is announced L&S will be declaring they have too many and writing that the other kids are neglected because there's just too many of them for them to all be loved equally.)
POLL - DO YOU THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER BABY?
NO = 79% (aka Nosy motherfuckers who are still pissed that Brad dumped Her Hairness and realize the more children he has with Angie the less chance they have of ever seeing the Golden Couple Kingdom restored in all its golden hair and gold-leathery skin splendor...)
YES - 21% (aka people who mind their own fucking business and keep the hell out of Angie's uterus.)
LIFE & STYLE - JUNE 22, 2009
MOVE OVER ANGELINA!
As Angelina Jolie struggles to cope with another birthday, rising star Megan Fox threatens to take over her definite role - and push her aside.
Angelina Jolie celebrated her 34th birthday on June 4. But while she should have been relaxing with beau Brad Pitt and their six kids, she was instead being forced to watch her back. Just days earlier, Hollywood producers Dan Lin announced that he was planning a new installment of Angie's Tomb Raider series, which turned the actress into a star and has grossed a whopping $431 million worldwide. But he doesn't seem to be considering Angie for the lead this time around - because, he confessed, she's simply too old. (Sidebar: Angie's already turned them down 3 or 4 times because she said she doesn't have the time to do the physical training anymore. So what else can they do except recast the role and leave the character the same age she was when Angie played or make her even younger? But...SHHHHHHH...don't tell Lies & Shit.)
"Its a great origin story that we're going to tell," said Lin, who recently produced Terminator Salvation. "So it's a younger Lara Croft." (Sidebar: This is stupid because Angie was 25 when she played the role, so how could it be a "younger Lara Croft". Does he mean younger than ANGIE currently is? Cuz that's something else entirely. So basically what they're talking about is a Young Indiana Jones-type rip-off.) Anyone in particular in mind for the lead role? Transformers star Megan Fox, he noted, was a "no-brainer." (Sidebar: Notice that L&S doesn't explain that Lin didn't offer up MF's name himself. He was asked by a reporter outside the TS premiere if they'd consider MF for the role and he said, "That's a no brainer." He wasn't exactly saying it because he was offering her the role. He was saying it as in, "Duh. We wouldn't have thought of that if you hadn't brought it up.")
No wonder: Megan, a dark-haired beauty with full lips and an edgy reputation (Sidebar: Make that a MANUFACTURED "edgy reputation" that comes off more like Foot-in-Mouth Disease!), has often been compared to Angelina. But Angie isn't flattered by the comparison (Sidebar: I was going to take a poll and ask how many people think Angie even knows she's being stalked by MF, but I'm pretty sure the result would be ZERO.) - or the suggestion that Megan, 23, may be ready to replace her. "Angie is not thrilled about turning 34, to put it mildly," says a friend. "In fact, she's panicking a little. She feels that her age is started to undercut her choice of film roles - and it annoys her that Megan Fox is being touted as the 'new Angelina.'" (Sidebar: Oh yeah...Angie's so worried about lack of film roles that she has not one (Wanted), not two (Salt), not three (Scarpetta) but FOUR (Kathy Austin) possible franchises in the works. Meanwhile Megan Fox is sitting at home in front of her mirror practicing Angie's red carpet poses, studying Angie's photoshoot pix, downloading the entire photo gallery at Soulie Jolie, emulating aspects of Angie's life (see fake lesbian relationship) and practicing her denials of stealing from Angie and blaming comparisons on the media's lack of imagination. You'd think she'd should be too busy stalking Angie to do the LC movie.)
MEGAN MOVES IN
But that's exactly how Megan wants to be seen. Although her rep says she won't be doing Tomb Raider (Sidebar: Mainly because she hasn't been asked!) the young actress has modeled her career - and her appearance - after Angelina's. She's often stepped out in fashions and hairdos similar to Angie's and has covered herself in tattoos. And much as Angie followed 2001's Lara Croft: Tomb Raider with a sequel two years later, Megan's starring in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallewn, out June 24 - two years after the original. (Sidebar: Hell. All the stuff Megan Fox is ripping off...and THIS is the lame ass shit L&S decided to point out? Most sequels take two years to come out! Lame ass twits. Sheesh.)
Megan, even managed to get close to a member of Angelina's family. While Angie is long estranged from her father, Jon Voight, Megan co-starred with him in Transformers, which means she's likely to have been closer to him than Angie is. (Sidebar: Let's see...the original Transformers shot 3 years ago and JV is NOT in the sequel. Angie stated very clearly last year that she and her father have been in contact. Which, of course, makes Lies & Shit a pack of liars. But that's nothing new.)
Megan also talks about Angelina frequently, which may further cement her image as a younger version of the superstar. "I don't even consider her human," she told GQ last year. "She's like a superhuman goddess." Less flatteringly, she recently told FHM magazine she was "frightened" of Angelina, adding, "She is a powerful human being. She could eat me alive." (Sidebar: More selective editing - MF also said she was kidding. Not that she was...but she did deny it.)
ANGELINA'S SHOVED ASIDE
Megan's strategy of positioning herself as the next Angelina appears to be working. "The only way to successfully reboot the Tom Raider series is by recasting Lara Croft with someone younger and sexier than Angelina Jolie," Hollywood producer Jeremy Stein tells Life & Style. "Megan Fox is one of the few actresses out there who can fit that bill. She's young, sexy, can handle action and she's the hottest young actress in Hollywood at the moment. Angelina is getting past her prime for action roles." (Sidebar: Now, I know what you're thinking - WHO THE FUCK IS JEREMY STEIN? Never fear, I have the answer - NOBODY. Not that the IMDB is 100% accurate, but they at least do a good job of creating an entry for anyone who's ever dipped their big toe in the entertainment biz. I looked up Mr. Jeremey Stein. The man has 3 credits. THREE. That's 1 less credit than Angie has possible franchises. The IMDB lists the following as Stein's credits -
Jack & Addie (2010) (pre-production)
The Photographer (2000)
"Mugshots" (2000) TV series (unknown episodes)
Jack & Addie (2010) (pre-production) (writer)
The Photographer (2000) (written by)
"Mugshots" (2000) TV series (unknown episodes)
Jack & Addie (2010) (pre-production) (producer)
The Photographer (2000) (producer)
"Mugshots" (2000) TV series (producer) (unknown episodes)
Yes, you have read correctly. L&S's big expert producer is a man who has not had a credit of any kind in tv or movies, or even radio, for almost 10 YEARS. TEN YEARS. And the only other credits to his name are for a movie and TV show I can almost guarantee that NOBODY READING THIS has ever heard of. Lord knows I've certainly never heard of it - or Jeremy Stein. He's probably Megan Fox's father and/or agent or sumpin'...)
Indeed, the New York Post recently ran a side-by-side comparison of the two actresses, noting that while Megan is "bursing with youthful enthusiasm," Angie is "bursting with babies." (Sidebar: I'm afraid I don't understand how having children means Angie is "getting past her prime" for action roles. Why is that even an issue? Harrison Ford is fucking 112 years old and just starred in one of the biggest action movies of 2008. No offense to Harrison, but if we can have a geriatric Indy, then why not a geriatric Evelyn Salt or Jane Smith?)
BRAD REASSURES HER
Naturally, Angelina - who skipped the June 6 wrap party for her movie Salt in NYC's Irving Mill (Sidebar: No she didn't. Guess the folks at L&S aren't privvy to the Peeps before it hits the streets, huh? BBBWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) - was not amused. "Angelina fears that Megan will be offered the roles Angie might still be right for," says the friend. "She is appalled to find herself considered too old to play an ingenue." (Sidebar: Uh...Lara Croft is NOT an "ingenue"...and stop confusing Angie with X. Angie has NEVER played an "ingenue" in her life, but X could easily headline a movie called, "The 40-Year-Old Ingenue.")
Whatever happens to her career, Angelina is confident her advancing age won't affect her family life. "Brad has tried to convince Angie she's aging beautifully," says the friend. Confirms an insider, "Angelina says Brad finds her sexier than ever." (Sidebar: I still can't see Angie wasting time worrying about MF stealing roles out from under her. Common sense says that if they gave the role to MF, then they weren't looking to make a good movie nor where they looking to make a profit. Name a Megan Fox movie that made money other than the 2 Transformer flix. Good. Fucking. Luck. Hell, she's not even the star of the Transformers movies. She's the obligatory "sexy girlfriend." I looked at her credits in the IMDB and saw she has more in common with X than Angie. She's a TV Girl who's trying to be a movie star. Just one of millions. But, she does have youth on her side. She can only get better as an actress...but X has pretty much tapped her well dry. Take it easy, Fanistons. I said "well" not "skin"...although...if the shoe fits...)
And it's not as though Angelina's in danger of fading into obscurity (Sidebar: At least not while the rags can still make a dime off her.): Forbes just named her the world's most powerful celebrity. But she's starting to be viewed more as an icon than a sex symbol - and she's simply not prepared for that to happen. "While Angie has planned to cut down on her acting work eventually, she wants it to be on her own time-table," says the friend. "She has said she plans to welcome growing old - but she clearly didn't expect it to be such an issue in her 30s." (Sidebar: Rest assured, Ange - it ain't an issue to anyone except magazines desperate to stay afloat and running out of semi-believable lies they can tell about you.)
PHOTOS - Angie rocking the LC wetsuit. Yet another reason MF couldn't play LC - she's only about 5'4" tall. Plus, she'd have to call her plastics man and asked him to replace her implants with some DDs or DDDs.
CAPTION: WILL MEGAN REPLACE ANGIE AS LARA CROFT?
The producer of the next Tom Raider movie may consider Megan Fox to take over - but Angie's not about to go quietly! (Sidebar: "May" means possibly. Conversely "may" also means, possibly NOT.)
SIDEBAR - MEGAN'S DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO STEAL ANGIE'S THUNDER
1. SHE'S GETTING SIMILAR TATTOOS (pic of Angie's prayer tat for Mad & a pic of MF's Shakespeare butterfly quote, which I'm convinced she has no idea what it means and in her hillbilly ignorance chose it because it sounded intellectual and she figured, "I wanna be an actor and maybe people will take me seriously if I pretend to like Shakespeare...cuz all REAL ACTORS luv Shakespeare!")
Angie's famous for having at least 12 tattoos, including a Buddhist prayer on her back. Megan's eight tats include a Shakespearean quote in almost the same spot (Sidebar of my own: Uh...that should be, "...almost the exact same spot...except it's on the opposite shoulder, which would mean it's NOT in 'almost the exact same spot.'"), and she claims she's going to get a tattoo sleeve on her right arm!
2. SHE'S STEALING ANGELINA'S STYLE (pic of Angie's silk sheet Esquire cover and a pic of MF's trenchcoat, garter belt & stockings Esquire cover. The stupid thing is - this doesn't prove she's stealing Angie's style. If hey had chosen the M&MS dominatrix pix with Angie in the garter belt, stockings and trenchcoat...or any of the dozens of other pix where Fox has ripped off Angie's poses, mannerisms or style...THEN they'd have a point. Amateurs. That's why this rag is going under.)
Megan's worn Angelina-style dresses to events and has lately taken to posing on magazine covers in Angelina-like outfits. (Sidebar of my own: What do they mean "lately"? Did they miss the 2 years in between the last Transformers and the new one?)
3. SHE'S TALKING UP HER OWN BISEXUALITY (pic of MF with some chick. I have no idea who she is, but they're standing fairly close together, so of course it means they're totally having sex...even though the twit claimed the lesbian thing happened when she was 18 or 19 and this pic is from LAST Year...)
While Angie's admitted to having female lovers (Sidebar of my own: NO, Angie admitted to have had ONE female lover. Please point out interviews where she's stated otherwise.), Megan's boasted about her fling with "a stripper named Nikita," says she's obsessed with porn star Jenna Jameson and says actress Olivia Wilde is "so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands." (Sidebar: She also says she's not ripping off Angie and the comparisons are merely the media's laziness because they're not smart enough to come up with new angles for stories. In other words - liar, liar, pants on fire.)
SIDEBAR - ANGELINA'S PANICKING ABOUT HER AGE
1. SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT BEING SEEN AS A MOM FIRST, MOVIE STAR SECOND (pic of Angie with Pax, Z and Shiloh in NO last October)
Raising six kids with Brad has gotten Angelina a lot more attention than her movie roles recently. (Sidebar of my own: Golly, I wonder who's responsible for that...) Just four years ago FHM magazine named Angie its sexiest woman. IN 2008, Megan took the honor - while Angie was named "most stylish mom" by Hello! (Sidebar of my own: But still made the top 10 in the FHM list that year...but let's not tell the twats buying this shit about that.)
2. SHE'S TRYING TO LOOK YOUNGER (pic of Angie that L&S says is from Cannes on May 20, but there's no way it is because Angie's not wearing the pinkish dress. It's only a head shot, but she's clearly wearing some kind of black coat, no make up and the photo was taken at night in mediocre indoor light not sunlight. )
Angie's face showed signs of exhaustion and age at the Cannes Film Festival on May 20 (photo I described above). To help refresh her skin, Angie's reportedly using a new treatment called the Dermaroller - hundreds of tiny needles penetrate the pores, causing the face to produce collagen to repair the damage. The $700-per-session treatment promises youthful, glowing skin. (Sidebar of my own: Angie isn't using this, but after those busted ass pix of X from that half-assed awards ceremony the other night - somebody sign that bitch up for a quadruple session!)
3. SHE'S OUT TO PROVE SHE CAN STILL DO ACTION FLICKS - EVEN IF IT HURTS HER (pic of Angie on the Salt set - hanging off the side of the building with a bloody knee - a fake bloody knee, but L&S didn't share that with their readers)
Angie insisted on doing many of her own stunts on the set of her action movie Salt. But she was rushed to a hospital on May 29 after she bumped her head and got a nick between her eyes that started to bleed. Angie was back on the set later than day. (Sidebar of my own: Oh puh-leeze! BFD. Angie had worse injuries than that when she shot the first LC movie - she was 25 at the time. Plus, she's stated herself that she's a bit of a klutz.)
4. SHE'S STRUGGLING TO SHOW SHE'S STILL SEXY (2 pics - The first is Angie at the SAGs in the Max Azria backwards gown with a caption that reads - "BEFORE: COVERED UP). The second is of Angie in Cannes this year. Why this rag insists on flipping pix is beyond me. The first page of this story has a pic in the right direction - Angie's hair is over her left shoulder, which would mean the split in the dress is on her right leg. Yet in this pic they've done a mirror image and the hair is now over the right shoulder and the split is on the "left" leg. It looks like Angie flipped her hair and dress around. Instead it's just L&S fucking with the pix because they're layout department sucks and couldn't make a picture with the right-side split fit into the way the the sidebar is layed out. It's shoddy and ameteurish work that would flunk any J-school magazine layout and design course in the country...but I guess you get what you pay for. They probably could have hired some high school kids to lay this rag out better than this.)
Angelina always seemed effortlessly stunning on the red carpet, but these days she's doing whatever it takes to send the message that she's still alluring - like wearing this shockingly high-slit, flesh-color Versace Atelier gown at Cannes in May. "She was determined to show everybody she's still the sexiest actress out there," says an insider. (Sidebar: "These days" = 1 red carpet appearance. If Angie were trying to prove she's still sexy, I think she'd be making it a point to be seen in public wearing too tight clothes meant for a girl 20 years younger than she is. Or wearing fake plastic nips under too-tight t-shirts. Possibly even wearing a too-small bikini and sunning herself at Joe Francis' GGW Meh-hee-co retreat. Oh wait...my bad...that's X not Angie.)
LIES & SHIT - JUNE 29, 2009
This week Lies & Shit whipped the hopes of women around the world into overdrive with a claim that Brad would be getting nekkid in Moneyball. They based this on having gotten hold of a copy of the December 1, 2008 draft of the script by Steve Zaillian. Not two days after this issue came out Amy Pascal put a halt to production on the movie because she didn't like Steven Soderbergh's revised script. Meaning, Lies & Shit jumped the gun because the script they had was an older draft of the script. If you read the story from the ScriptShadow blog that Dulcinea13 posted on JJB M3B, then you'd see that supposedly the Zaillian draft of 12/1/2008 was being revised by Zaillian at Soderbergh's request and when he didn't get a script from Zaillian for 6 weeks, Soderbergh re-wrote the script himself and that was the version that Amy Pascal rejected. Supposedly. To top it all off - Brad had script approval and he hadn's signed off on Zaillian's 12/1/2008 version, but did sign off on the version Soderbergh turned in the week of June 15th. Supposedly. If any of that is true - then Lies & Shit jumped the gun and published a script that wsn't being made, therefore most probably meaning Brad is NOT doing a nude scene in Moneyball. Don'tch just love it when the J-Ps thwart the tabloids?
BTW - If you haven't read the post on the ScriptShadow blog the link is below...
notOK! - JUNE 22, 2009
I'm throwing this notOK story in because it's a primo example of how far out to sea these hosers are. The first 2 weeks of June they tried to change the format of the mag and didn't really have any gossip. They had a bunch of style and make-up shit. When that didn't sell, they hired Mr. Fired Editor Of L&S aka Mark Pasetsky of Coverawards.com as a consultant to help them juice up their covers and content. They then went back to doing gossip. The first with Pasetsky on board (June 15 issue) they ran a 6 page story on the homes Brad and Angie live in. Amazingly the rundown of Brad & Angie's multi-million dollar real estate holdings didn't help sales, so this week they're back to doing what they do best - be the last man on the pile. Last on, first off...just liking losing weight.
As you read the story notice how they're basically saying, "We got our info from the other tabs that have been pimping this bullshit for the last month or two."
THE TENSION MOUNTS
Rumors that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are headed to Splitsville continue to swirl
By Shauna Bass
Long work days, the stress of carrying for six kids and non-stop travel would be enough to strain the most stable of relationships - and it's no different for Brad Pitt, 45, and Angelina Jolie, 34. Indeed, the Hollywood supercouple, whose romance once seemed invulnerable to the stress of public scrutiny, has been struggling to keep it together. "Without a doubt, there are problems," a source tells OK! (Sidebar: "Without a doubt" they don't have a source.)
Every since February, when the duo moved to New York so Jolie could begin filming the spy thriller Salt, "something has been off," says the insider. And though the couple's rep recently dismissed breakup rumors, OK!'s source confirms that these days, the two "are often not on the same page." (Sidebar: In other words, "We know they're not having any problems, but our sales are down so we gotta do something to get people to buy the mag again.")
Jolie's work schedule is in part to blame. The actress has been spending 12 hours a day on the Salt set. "Angie's constantly tired, and whenever anyone suggests taking time off, she brushes them away," says the source. (Sidebar: Somebody at notOK! must not have gotten the memo from that there's a shooting schedule to be kept and roughly $100 MILLION riding on getting the movie in on schedule. "Taking time off" was NOT an option.)
For the past few months, Pitt has been the primary caregiver of the couple's six children - do the name and age thing here. But he, too, will soon head back to work. Production on his new film, Moneyball, was scheduled to begin in L.A. this week, and he's in the midst of launching the next phase of Make It Right, his New Orleans-based charity.
The pair can't even see eye to eye on the little things, like presents for the kids. When Pitt bought Maddox and Pax matching emerald green Sony Vaio P Series notebooks (Sidebar: Ooh, looks like notOK! has a new advertiser! Damn...this'll probably give them a 2-week extension before they have to declare bankruptcy and fold. Total bummerage.), Jolie scolded him. "She got angry that he favored the boys with gifts and left the girls out," says the pal. (Sidebar: GMAFB. As Angie put it - Z can get anything out of her daddy that she wants. Shiloh may still be in training, but Z is not selfish...she'd hook Shiloh up with the goods, too.)
So just where does this leave the troubled twosome? For now, the entire Jolie-Pitt crew is still based on Long Island's North Shore, (Sidebar: Uh...NOT. Even as this rag went to press last week Angie and Brad were spotted in Washington DC. I just LMAO every time one of these craptoids presumes to think they know where the Jolie-Pitts are. They're wrong every damned time.) where they celebrated Jolie's 34th birthday (June 4) with a custom-made Carvel ice cream cake. Soon, however, the family is expected to relocate to L.A., (Sidebar: Congrats to notOk! The only tab this week to not say Angie and the kids were heading to France while Brad was heading to L.A.! That lurking at Jared's and JJB finally paid off for 'em.) where the two megastars hope a change of scenery will render their problems a thing of the past. "They love each other," adds the pal. "They are trying to work this out for the sake of the kids." (Sidebar: Meanwhile the tabs will keep pulling stories out of their collective asses.)
That wraps up Part 2. Hopefully I'll have Part 3 up sometime Tuesday. It's going to be REALLY, REALLY LONG because OuttaTouch had 6 page Brad & Angie stories every week in June. I honestly don't know how 1 magazine can come up with so much crap on a continuing basis...
Posted by Passing Through at 4:44 PM