For Love The Jolie-Pitts - Celebrity Living, Oct 31, 2005

CL was only around for a year or so - from May 2005 to mid-Apr 2006. It was owned by our good buddies at American Media, Inc., ie, the owners of bottom-feeding Star, NE, Globe, notOK, National Examiner and Reality. This rag was sometimes pro-JP, so of course the hens drove them out of business. LOL. One of their ideas to boost sales was to do some 25 cent issues. Needless to say that didn't work out too great. As much money as tabloids  bleed today the publishers still refuse to shut them down and call it a day.

An oldie but a funny...

As I stated on JJ's earlier tonight one of the pages of this article is missing but it turns out I was wrong. The page numbers in the jpgs went from 90 to 92.  I thought page 91 was missing but it must have been an ad and was therefore omitted. The last paragraph of page 90 resumes on page 92 so the article is complete. I only realized this after braving several hen sites. I just couldn't take anymore - a) fug Ticky pix; and b) stupid hens so I decided to check the continuity of the last 2 pages and sure enough...I wasted 2 hours in Hen Hell for nothing. Anyway, here's the US article on why VV kicked Her Tickness to the curb. Notice that on the very first page Huvsy gets a major shout out for guiding Ticky's "press offensive against ex Brad Pitt," including the Vanity Fair article, and alll throughout the article for stunts they pulled when she was dating and then married to Brad. Us called their shenanigans a "vicious cycle of media courting and thwarting" or, as I like to call it, Ye Old Plant And Deny.  Remember, y'all...this was 2006 so obviously the media long ago tumbled to Ticky's PR games - yet they still play along. Too bad Huvsy is gay. He and Ticky are obviously soulmates. Stephen Huvane...the hardest working bitch in show biz. He works hard for money...so hard for it honey...he works hard for the money...so Ticky better hold on tight...

Wait - I lied...here's a second funny... Did you know there was more than one of those unPhotoshopped pix of Ticky floating around? I thought there was just the one I'd that Jezebel had. Whilst slumming in Henville I found two more. I wonder what Ticky was most pissed about - the fact that she looks like something Norman pooped out after rigor passed or the fact that her old nose dominates the third photo? She should look at it this way - I was so busy staring at her nose I almost didn't notice how busted she looks. No wonder she's addicted to laser peels. Shield the eyes of small children, cute pets and the elderly and feast your peepers on Ticky in her natural "unbeautiful" state...

Us Lies Weakly - October 16, 2006

WHY VINCE LEFT JEN

Tabloid Report - covers April 30, 2012 issues

It's been a long time since I've done a tab report on Blogger. I'm surprised my account is still active. Normally I would do this as straight text but this time in my infinite wisdom I decided to do it as a table for comparison purposes, ie, so you could compare one tab's story to another for "fact" checking purposes...such as they are. Turns out I outsmarted myself because I ended up having to do an 11"x17" page which I converted to PDF. The only thing is...I can't upload a freaking PDF to Blogger! It'll only accept image files, ie, jpgs, gifs, tiffs. So then I converted the PDF to a jpg and uploaded it but the Blogger software only allows a certain level of image quality and it reduced the quality to the point where the JPG was unreadable even when you downloaded it and used pc software to zoom/enlarge it. PITFA! Sooooo...now I've had to upload the PDF to a file sharing service, which is another PITFA because in order to download it you're forced to answer some fake question that is basically an ad so they can get paid for providing this "free" service. Ain't the internet wonderful? I read the other day that internet ad revenues in 2011 were $31 BILLION (you're welcome, Jared). I remember when it was barely $1MIL and everyone said it was a stupid idea and it'd never catch on....


Er...I digressed... Anyway...the tab report is at the link below. You will see a question that you have to respond to or a graphic link that says DOWNLOAD like the image below. If you have problems downloading let me know and I'll try to come up with another way of making the file available...that involves as little work as possible...

Download April 30, 2012 tabloid Report - http://www.2shared.com/document/3JNqrQiK/TabReport-Engaged2.html